PARTE I
El amor puede causar una sensación similar a la droga, produciendo fantasías, causando insomnio e incluso haciéndote abandonar otros aspectos de tu vida. Una relación adictiva se caracteriza por la necesidad de seguir estando con una persona a pesar de las consecuencias negativas que produce en tu vida. Debes diagnosticar si tus relaciones con otras personas siguen patrones de apego obsesivo.
Diagnóstico de una relación adictiva
1. Haz una lista. Escribe en una columna las cosas positivas que obtienes de la relación, y en otra columna enumera las cosas negativas.
Entre las cosas positivas que puedes incluir en esta lista, se encuentran las emociones que sientes cuando la persona que amas te presta atención, te ofrece algo o hace algo por tí. Estas emociones pueden crearte dependencia hacia esa persona y son precisamente estas emociones adictivas que te provoca esa persona, las que tendrás que aceptar y hacer frente.
2. Revisa relaciones pasadas. Gran parte de las personas que se vuelven adictas a sus parejas, es porque han sufrido relaciones familiares problemáticas como consecuencia de la falta de confianza y apoyo emocional que sus familiares le proporcionaron en su infancia.
Si la persona a la que eres adicto te recuerda a un miembro de tu familia o a una relación pasada, puede que estés buscando a través de la relación actual completar una relación pasada fallida. Deberás separar los sentimientos de la relación pasada de la actual para seguir adelante.
3. Haz un diario de la relación. Escribe regularmente sobre cómo te hace sentir tu relación con esa persona y qué comportamientos, esperanzas y fantasías albergas. Escribir diariamente acerca de tu relación, puede ayudarte a evitar que le restes importancia a los malos momentos que tu pareja te hace vivir, ya que cuando uno es adicto a su pareja, suele obviar los malos momentos con el fin de proteger su relación evitando de este modo romper con la adicción.
4. Haz una revisión de la relación. Anota las características físicas y personales de tu pareja. Luego, anota quién es la persona dominante en la relación y busca evidencias de cuál de los dos intenta controlar al otro. Detecta qué emociones más comunes son las que experimentas cuando te encuentras con tu pareja.
Si muchas de estas características son negativas, puedes comenzar a ver las razones del porqué te encuentras dentro de una relación adictiva y deberás efrentarte y asumir estas adicciones con el fin de obtener una relación sana y en caso de no conseguir una relación saludable, romper con la relación adictiva.
5. Acepta que una relación no es saludable si ves síntomas claros de comportamientos obsesivos, control excesivo y manipulación abusiva. Debes estar dispuesto a examinar tu relación con el fin de detectar los síntomas de adicción y estar preparado para el dolor que produce alejarse de la persona a la que te sientes dependiente.
Extraído de wikihow.com/Break-Your-Addiction-to-a-Person (en inglés)
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